tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post3611627463433082913..comments2023-10-09T15:47:14.355-04:00Comments on And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?: The First TimeStarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241931590875029855noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-76809739566821627882010-03-22T01:59:23.028-04:002010-03-22T01:59:23.028-04:00Thank you for your courage to post this. I hope th...Thank you for your courage to post this. I hope that all of your loved ones understand your humanity and your need for touch, your desire to FEEL again.<br /><br />I (like Kate) had sex too soon after losing my husband for partly the same reason... to get it over with. The first time was just weird. I knew I would cry, but I didn't. I just felt numb. I got no pleasure from it. However, the second and subsequent times... (all same person) I did find my ability to feel returned, maybe more intensely than I expected, and I had a very fulfilling sexual relationship with an absolute jerk. <br /><br />So now that I've got him out of my life, I realize that (a) it was too soon, (b) I can and WILL enjoy sex again, (c) it's worth waiting to be with the right personMerryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05674912399699109452noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-40095414837548709032010-03-20T18:40:53.979-04:002010-03-20T18:40:53.979-04:00What surprised me was how much I LIKED, no LOVED t...What surprised me was how much I LIKED, no LOVED the sex again after. I felt like my two years of mourning had dried me up forever. I was so relieved to find that wasn't the case.Abigailhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04628004126702020793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-18748763927397221902010-03-20T02:59:03.360-04:002010-03-20T02:59:03.360-04:00Star,
Thank you for posting this.
Thank you very m...Star,<br />Thank you for posting this.<br />Thank you very much.Janinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00949809367923657970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-81723999378744585092010-03-19T23:37:39.024-04:002010-03-19T23:37:39.024-04:00Roger TOTALLY wanted you to be happy. He REALLY wa...Roger TOTALLY wanted you to be happy. He REALLY wanted you to be happy. He loved you and you loved him.<br /><br />I'm sure that publishing this will provide for many others on our crazy road!<br /><br />Hugs!<br /><br />SupaSupa Dupa Freshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-81665244994595655962010-03-19T20:33:48.171-04:002010-03-19T20:33:48.171-04:00Very brave of you to share something so very priva...Very brave of you to share something so very private. Those of us in this stinking 'club' appreciate your openess and honesty. Kudos.Jennifer M Karnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07165086439319404271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-10390106246735033282010-03-19T15:39:08.834-04:002010-03-19T15:39:08.834-04:00Good for you for being brave and posting about thi...Good for you for being brave and posting about this, Star. Along with the more basic questions (like about what to do with your ring, his ring, his clothes and belongings, etc., etc.), I know a lot of the widows I know also wonder and worry about dating, about sex, about falling in love again. But depending on the people and personalities involved, it's very hard to ask.<br /><br />And for a number of reasons--I have too many family members (errr, Charley's, I mean) who read my blog, plus I want to be protective of my then-BF, who's still one of my best friends--it's not a topic I'm willing to open on my blog. But it's valuable for others on this path to hear about sex and dating again--both the good stories, and the bad.<br /><br />Bravo, Star. Hugs.Candicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11637366044613952294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-49817942408176513872010-03-19T11:28:44.091-04:002010-03-19T11:28:44.091-04:00I sobbed the first time I had sex after Jason died...I sobbed the first time I had sex after Jason died. But I was nowhere near ready to go there. It was a bad move on my part. I had the "get it out of the way" mentality, when in reality, I had a lot, lot, lot more work to do in my head before that was okay. I don't regret it, because it taught me something, and I AM ready to date again now, but I am pretty certain I'm okay with it at the moment. At the time, I wasn't.Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01542230897888388433noreply@blogger.com