tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post7160691747322443290..comments2023-10-09T15:47:14.355-04:00Comments on And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?: One Month From TodayStarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241931590875029855noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-25247708578459346752009-07-28T21:20:54.514-04:002009-07-28T21:20:54.514-04:00You know what wonderful milestone happens at the f...You know what wonderful milestone happens at the first anniversary? You can realize that at this same time next year, it will have been TWO years.<br /><br />Perhaps a little zen, perhaps silly, but it did work for me (on the days before and the days after -- I can barely remember the day itself).<br /><br />X<br /><br />SupaSupa Dupa Freshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-69531979214539947362009-07-24T16:17:46.403-04:002009-07-24T16:17:46.403-04:00You might have some sort of closure after burying ...You might have some sort of closure after burying him, but from my experience there WAS no magical thing that happened after the 1-yr anniversary. Like you said, there WAS no change...and that was the scary, unexpected thing. I was so focused on making it to the 1-yr mark that realizing life continued, much the same, after it was a shock. I thought I just had to make it to the 1-yr mark and then it'd be okay.<br /><br />Which wasn't how it happened for me. It actually got worse after the anniversary. And then it got better for 6 months (while I was dating)...and then it got worse...and much worse...and then even worse. And it was a surprise--and a shaming embarrassment to me...me, who was oh-so-good and careful and cognizant of my "grieving" (ha!) that first year.<br /><br />But the beauty of this widowhood journey is that we're all different; each of our paths are unique. Sure, they probably have more in common than different, but what happened with me isn't necessarily what will happen with you. Don't expect that it'll be over and done and that you'll be ready to move forward with your life without a backwards glance, but with any luck, the worst of it really WILL be behind you one month from now. It's pretty split amongst my widowed friends which year(s) were the worst...but it's fairly 50-50 that, for possibly half of them, the first year really WAS the worst.<br /><br />And that's a comfort, because it means hope that it won't necessarily be any worse.<br /><br />Hang in there. I get it, completely. Sending you lots of hugs....~CandiceCandicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11637366044613952294noreply@blogger.com