tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post7910295175558209532..comments2023-10-09T15:47:14.355-04:00Comments on And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?: The Wedding VideoStarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241931590875029855noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-3080565491266607072009-01-05T04:03:00.000-05:002009-01-05T04:03:00.000-05:00I'm glad you have that video too. Like you (origin...I'm glad you have that video too. Like you (originally as planned, at least), we didn't have a videographer for our wedding. I cared about photos, not video, so we didn't bother. We had some family members videotape it with their camcorders, but none turned out well since we had a candlelit ceremony at night.<BR/><BR/>I never saw the video at all, until the first time I was allowed to be alone after Charley died, about 36 hours after the police came and told me. I was in a brief lull between "chaperones" for the newly bereaved, and I put in the tape from our wedding. And I cried, and sobbed, and howled how Charley could do this to me. I didn't watch much of it, and I've never watched it since. I don't even know where the tape is now. It might be one of the unmarked ones in my "memory box" of Charley, with the various mementos from his funeral, his toiletry bag, and some other miscellaneous things...or it might be elsewhere. I have no idea.<BR/><BR/>A couple days after Charley died my brother gave me a DVD he'd burned of some video of Charley, the only stuff I have of him alive and well and laughing and talking. It's of my brother grilling him how Charley proposed (as well as stuff from our rehearsal dinner and reception), and I watched it sometime around 5 months out from Charley's death. I hoped it would make me cry, but it didn't much.<BR/><BR/>I haven't watched it since, but I pulled it out for my 5th wedding anniv. last month. And while the wedding stuff bored me silly (imagine being able to say that! perhaps I was just exhausted and already emotionally wrung out by that point in the DVD?), it was phenomenal getting to see Charley how he was in real life. And instantly I remembered everything about him that I'd sorta somehow forgotten. The sound of his laugh, his voice, of his self-deprecating smirk (because yes, it had a sound sometimes)...his sense of humor and even just how he moved. It was phenomenal getting to remember it so clearly, when I'd forgotten it for so long that I didn't even realize it was forgotten.<BR/><BR/>Perhaps that's why I've been having such vivid dreams of him lately....Who knows?<BR/><BR/>I'm glad you got that video, as well as the raw footage. It's always a little eery with those loaded "accidents" (like the videographer, or the raw footage), isn't it, knowing what we now know? <BR/><BR/>And the lack of a "real" video from our wedding is why I had Charley's funeral professionally videotaped. And it turns out the DVD of it is pretty darn cheesy and I was a little horrified at what I ended up receiving...but I decided I didn't need it to be an amazing, awe-inspiring, tour de force piece of <I>art</I> encapsulating everything that was Charley. It was just a video. Just a document, a record, of one unescapable moment in our lives so our daughter could watch it someday. I only ever watched it once, at Charley's birthday 5 months after he died. Lordy, I was waiting for some lightning bolts from him after a four-minutes-too-prolonged cheesy single shot of a waterfall set to bad music. But at least I have it. And at least the pro photos from the day are amazing.<BR/><BR/>hugs,<BR/>CandiceCandicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11637366044613952294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-38461272522481435232009-01-01T22:46:00.000-05:002009-01-01T22:46:00.000-05:00Star, reading your blog has brought me to tears so...Star, reading your blog has brought me to tears so many times in the last few months. I truly believe your words on this blog will help many others that may be going through the transition you are going through.<BR/><BR/>Everything happens for a reason. Your decision and persistence for electing to have a video has captured one of your many beautiful moments in time with your late husband. That will always be at your fingertips.<BR/><BR/>May God give you continued strenth.Kerline Docteurhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13736898806745517499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-26928378127640599952008-12-29T11:39:00.000-05:002008-12-29T11:39:00.000-05:00oh my gosh, that is amazing! i love ralph's commen...oh my gosh, that is amazing! i love ralph's comments!!! how awesome that you got a video...cherish it forever, girl! :)robynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15192320404368081466noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-73196462654657666322008-12-29T00:45:00.000-05:002008-12-29T00:45:00.000-05:00Hi Star...your blog has a daily visit from me...so...Hi Star...your blog has a daily visit from me...so of course I think of you every day. I'm so happy that you have the wedding video to make your memories that much more special!<BR/><BR/>xo<BR/><BR/>JennJennhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15936952651444800984noreply@blogger.com