tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post8672028887760612147..comments2023-10-09T15:47:14.355-04:00Comments on And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?: 50/50Starhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241931590875029855noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-91677651413444994552009-07-30T05:07:16.197-04:002009-07-30T05:07:16.197-04:00I often think the same things about Charley. I alw...I often think the same things about Charley. I always assumed that, based on our history, etc., etc., that we'd never fall into "That" Big-D category. And as I've become so jaded and cynical on this journey these past 4 years, I sometimes wonder those "what ifs" too, if we *would* have made it. Though in all honesty, I think a lot of my cynicism and fear now about never knowing if a marriage can last have come from witnessing some awful, unexpected divorces in my circle of friends over the last 4-5 years...and not because of widowhood.<br /><br />I've never believed there was only just One True Love for anybody. Perhaps it's because I never, ever thought Charley was my "soul mate" (or whatever other garbledygook name you want to call it). I've had one or two other people who I thought, at the time, were soul mates (most of whom are no longer in my life, really)...but I never thought that of Charley. Partially it's because he would have scoffed and choked at the very notion (Mr. Philosophical, he was not). But sometimes I wonder if it's because a part of me knew that something like this could happen, or if we were never supposed to have a long life together. Which is also not a healthy line of thinking.<br /><br />And your love with Roger absolutely was not fake, nor was your marriage a failure or too short to know anything about marriage. I've often felt defensive of the same things, that, after being married for only 19 months, how could I possibly know anything about what "marriage" takes? Except you and I--and all the other widows and widowers we know--know more than most people will learn in their lifetimes. We know what matters. And there are a lot of other people who know it too...some through 5, 10, 50 years of marriage...and some even in only 6 or 19 months. Would our marriages have lasted? Who knows? But the fact is still that they did last. We didn't have failed marriages. They ended successfully, to the end of our days.<br /><br />(And I'm stealing some words straight from the mouth of a guy at my support group; he's the one who always reminds us that our marriages did not end in failures, and all the rest that I said...er, plagiarized. ;o))<br /><br />(And oops...another long comment from me. I should really go to bed and stop babbling at the fingers. ;o) Hugs, Star!)Candicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11637366044613952294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-25526546370958901052009-07-28T21:15:11.419-04:002009-07-28T21:15:11.419-04:00I dunno, I think lots of folks find more than one ...I dunno, I think lots of folks find more than one great love. Some folks find more than two!<br /><br />What you're doing is real, and it matters. <br /><br />I can barely remember the first anniversary of Gavin's death at this point. I'll bet i just slept a lot and I think my Mom came in to babysit. I think. This year was much better.<br /><br />X<br /><br />SupaSupa Dupa Freshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-65310749831518499202009-07-28T08:38:32.033-04:002009-07-28T08:38:32.033-04:00"was one love fake?" Please don't e..."was one love fake?" Please don't ever write that.<br /><br />I find myself to be an open-minded soul and I'm happy that you're happy once again...I really am. <br /><br />However, please do not doubt/think that your marriage wouldn't have made the distance otherwise - like you acknowledged: "thinking WHAT IF...isn't healthy".<br /><br />I'm sure you were a great spouse for the six months of being a wife to Roger as was he and it "WAS REAL". As the quote goes "better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all".<br /><br />Good luck with Mr. X and your transition into a new kind of love/relationship - seldom people find it twice let alone Once in a lifetime, but this new love is starting out so please never doubt if one love was fake. <br /><br />With love,<br />-EAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-81178119756785070002009-07-27T20:09:09.595-04:002009-07-27T20:09:09.595-04:00So, you may have figured out by now that I swear b...So, you may have figured out by now that I swear by quotes...some silly...some touching. Either way, they somehow have always served as a mantra for me. Hope you'll find some of my (well, not MINE, but I dont' know who they're from) quotes, helpful, healing, inspiring, encouraging, or just plain fun to read :o) <br /><br />In response to this quote:<br />"It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives."<br /><br />I'm happy for you that Mr. X is in your life right now :o)Funny Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01433640743960348717noreply@blogger.com