tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post3252542405176224764..comments2023-10-09T15:47:14.355-04:00Comments on And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?: "I'm afraid of hurting you"Starhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241931590875029855noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-15020283495243041372009-06-16T21:41:25.604-04:002009-06-16T21:41:25.604-04:00That's a stupid excuse ("I'm afraid o...That's a stupid excuse ("I'm afraid of hurting you") along the lines of "I never meant to hurt you" when someone gets caught cheating. Why, however, does widowhood make some so uncomfortable? I feel like I was successful in a marriage, doesn't that make me a better new partner? A better risk/return gamble? Even better, the husband is dead! He won't be coming around, you (the date) won't ever have to deal with him! Mystifying...SCDIsanfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16647097299541932421noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-10580607545385751162009-06-15T09:09:42.594-04:002009-06-15T09:09:42.594-04:00I think a lot of young men are intimidated by the ...I think a lot of young men are intimidated by the whole widowhood thing. It makes them uncomfortable. Plus, what they won't admit to you is that they are afraid of being compared to the dead. I know that I've had my share of men saying, "I feel I will never meet up with the love you had for your husband."<br /><br />I dont know why someone would bother to try. I will always love my husband, but in a completely different way than I could love anyone else (simply because they are different people). Besides, the heart is big... there's lots of room for lots of people. A man shouldnt feel he has to eclipse your former love to be just as special to you.<br /><br />But I'm the wrong person to take advice from, I guess. I've dated several guys long term since my husband died and I remain unmarried (8 years since my husband died). So maybe I <i>am</i> comparing them to my husband. Or maybe I havent had "that feeling" like I had when I met my husband. Either way, I try. I guess I am ultimately okay with being alone if that is to be my fate. At least I had a great love once.<br /><br />Be careful with those first dates so soon in your loss. Sometimes we date because we're looking for someone/something to fill the hole in our hearts. We have to make sure we're dating for all the right reasons...Mars Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11403414048823693159noreply@blogger.com