tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post3897482373114113158..comments2023-10-09T15:47:14.355-04:00Comments on And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?: GeezStarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241931590875029855noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-46717149012719147802008-12-17T02:18:00.000-05:002008-12-17T02:18:00.000-05:00If it's any consolation, I broke down in front of ...If it's any consolation, I broke down in front of so many strangers and professionals I was paid to do a service for me that it was just downright embarrassing. The massage therapist's manager after I had a shitty massage? Meltdown. A new financial planner that I was reassigned to about 6 months after Charely died and whom I met for the first time 3 days after I found out I was losing my job (which was also the day before I was returning to work)? Meltdown. The CPA when I had to get my taxes done the first time after Charley died (and on Valentine's Day no less, and the day I gave notice at work that I was quitting)? Meltdown. The vet assistant? And the vet too? Meltdown, meltdown, and meltdown. <BR/><BR/>The list goes on and on. <BR/><BR/>I worked so damned hard on holding it together in front of people who knew me and who'd be upset to see me falling apart, so they'd never see how much I hurt and how hard everything was (and I did it supposedly more for me than for them, I believe), that I always just lost it in front of strangers. And it always seemed to happen when I was already feeling awful or when something small went wrong--something I told myself that I absolutely should NOT react to. Yet I always did.<BR/><BR/>So yeah, it totally sucks when you fall apart in front of the most maddening strangers...but I found that those tears actually served a useful purpose (once I had some hindsight). I got a lot more sympathy, understanding, and assistance when it was obvious I was not doing well. People were a lot more baffled, standoffish, or judgmental when I tried to be logical and detached yet still trying to communicate what I was secretly falling apart over. But the tears worked like magic. <BR/><BR/>Doesn't mean I was able to control it any better or that I was able to put the same trend to good use with my family or closest friends...but at least it often got me what I wanted or needed: help when I needed it most.<BR/><BR/>Hang in there. And I'm sorry the rings didn't turn out the way you imagined them. It's a double blow when you're already hurting. But stick to it until you get them exactly perfect and 100% how you want, because otherwise you'll end up disappointed for months and years to come. The need for comfort in the long term for outweighs the inconvenience factor in the short term.<BR/><BR/>Hugs,<BR/>CandiceCandicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11637366044613952294noreply@blogger.com