tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post7173100679605187322..comments2023-10-09T15:47:14.355-04:00Comments on And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?: "Ring worm"Starhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18241931590875029855noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-13127956436775755612009-07-08T17:29:59.339-04:002009-07-08T17:29:59.339-04:00I *still* wear Charley's ring, at almost 4 yea...I *still* wear Charley's ring, at almost 4 years out. I put it on the middle finger of my right hand when the funeral director gave it to me --along with whatever few possessions (his car key? and I don't remember what else) he had in his cycling jersey when the medical examiner came and got him--right before I went in to see his dead body for the first and last time, a day and a half after he died. I wore my wedding ring--like you, I loved my ring crazily too--on my left ring finger until about 6 months out. And then I decided (for some moronic reason) that it was too painful or that it was time to stop wearing it, or something. So I put it on my right hand for a while and Charley's on my left middle finger. My sister and her husband bought me a ring about 7 months after Charley died, for Valentine's Day--a blue topaz, Charley's birthstone--and I wore it instead of my wedding ring, on my right hand. It just hurt less than seeing my beautiful ring on the "right" or the wrong hand and knowing he was dead, dead, dead. And like I moron--because I was healing oh-so-well, thank you very much, and because I was being a good widow and not holding on to my wedding ring for too long, coveting it or my dead husband for an uncomfortably too-long period of time--I chose to dismantle my wedding ring at the one-year anniversary of Charley's death. I took the diamond out and had it placed in a necklace. Which helped at the time, but now I wish I never had. I want it in my ring, dammit. Even if I don't wear it, I want it in my ring, not as a reminder of the brokenness of my life. (Don't you love the wild things that widows can think and how they change over time? ;o))<br /><br />But throughout it all, Charley's ring has stayed on my left hand. For almost all of the last 4 years...even when I dated other people. Partially I wear it because it's just a plain white-gold band and no one will necessarily know Just What It Is, and I didn't like the other middle-finger ring I had. But really, I continued to wear it because I knew it was Charley's and--like Roger's ring--I knew what it represented. <br /><br />I took it off for a month or two after I bought myself a new "me" ring for Mother's Day this year. I missed having my wedding ring, and on a whim (and in a fit of splurging without forethought), I bought my new ring and plunked it on my wedding-ring, left ring finger. So I wore a pseudo-wedding ring on my left hand and my Charley's-birthstone ring on my right ring finger, and Charley's wedding band went into my jewelry box. But before I drove to GP last week for Papa's funeral, I put his ring back on. It feels closer, more comforting to wear his ring, and I wanted him there with me in some oblique, symbolic way as we buried his grandfather.<br /><br />And it'll stay there for the next week or two (if not longer), I can tell you!<br /><br />(And sorry for hijacking your comments; apparently I'm blabbering today. =)) Hugs!Candicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11637366044613952294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-19017241349663050532009-07-06T15:18:07.267-04:002009-07-06T15:18:07.267-04:00I wear my husbands ring right behind mine on my le...I wear my husbands ring right behind mine on my left hand. Mine keeps his on. Not sure when either will come off. . .Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00862870251914305655noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6918105604270007470.post-82378912468564102102009-07-02T22:30:37.886-04:002009-07-02T22:30:37.886-04:00Oh, Mr. X! I dated him. I liked him. He's the ...Oh, Mr. X! I dated him. I liked him. He's the one they named the movie ratings after, right?<br /><br />You always manage to add something so unexpected in your posts. This was very sweet. I can almost see your hand...<br /><br />LOVE<br /><br />SupaSupa Dupa Freshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659738264922395349noreply@blogger.com