Thursday, March 15, 2012


You were a dork.
I was hesitant.
I was scared.
I fought back against falling for you.
You were my best friend.
You were patient.
And kind.
Slowly I got close to you.
You kept pulling me closer.
I let you in.
My walls came down.
I loved you.
You loved me.
I believed in marriage.
I was happy.
I was settled.
My soul felt content.
And complete.

And slowly you died.
Six long, long days.
Then gone.
You left.
My heart split wide open.
I love you still.


Love Idiot said...

I recently lost my honey. I was hesitant too and scared, and he was also patient and loving, and we built it and it was somehow taken away. Thank you for this poem, I really wish you the best.

AngelDawn68 said...

Star, I have been reading your blog for the past couple of days, I have forgotten exactly how I found it, but I did and I went and started at the beginning. Weird, well probably but I am a bit of a weird person. I have a different story in that I am not a widow but my husband is battling for his life against cancer; but your story has touched me and I have to say you are really good at telling your story with elegance and yet gut wrenching reality. I can not imagine how you were able to do what you had to do. I know you don't want to be called strong and I get that, when my husband has been in the hospital (close to death a few times) people around me called me strong and I so did not feel that way. It's a thing I guess as women we can just do what we have to do and we hide how we are really crumbling inside. Ugg I feel like I am rambling. What I wanted to say is 1. I love this poem in this post.2. You should write a book.3. I can't say I enjoyed your blog because I think that is too terrible, like saying I have enjoyed your pain and I have not. You have made me cry and laugh and sometimes at the same time. Without going through exactly what you were and are going through, I can understand a lot of it and empathize with you. I am glad I stumbled upon your blog. It really touched me. And I wish you nothing but happiness and joy in your days to come,I know Roger will always be with you and the pain of loosing him will never be completely gone, but I know you will find happiness to out-weight the sadness.