A baby boy.
I am very happy for them.
I am very excited for them.
This is a planned child and I know they will be exceptional parents.
Because I care about both of them.
I wanted to plan a shower for the mother-to-be.
I felt like after all they had done for me in the last year, I wanted to give back.
The shower is on Sunday so I am in the last minute throws of party planning.
Today I was shopping for my actual shower gift.
I printed out the registry.
Made my way to the baby section.
Navigated through all the baby stuff to the actual gift item on the registry.
But of course I wanted to add some cute outfits for the new baby boy.
And of course, I almost had a meltdown.
A cute blue onesie.
"Daddy's Little Boy."
Tears started to form.
I started to get flustered.
I have been thinking about it all evening.
I know, I know, I know that this can still be a possibility for me.
But it will never be a possibility for Roger.
It will never be a possibility for Roger and me.
Yes, we were not really planning on having kids.
Both of us were heavily leaning toward no.
But I cannot get over his journal.
The one where he wrote about a dream he had.
And how he wrote, "I hope I am a great father someday."
Not that we had time.
We were only married six months.
I know he would have been an amazing dad.
And he truly would have had a "Daddy's Little Boy" t-shirt or maybe even "Daddy's Little Princess."