The tears just fall.
The memories flood.
I cry just to cry.
It is like all the feelings I have been distracted from bubble up.
Deep from within me.
And sometimes I cannot stop it.
Like last night and into today.
But I do not want to call anyone.
I do not want to be with anyone.
I do not want to show anyone.
I just want to release these feelings.
Get them out of my body.
And then I find myself just awake.
In a way, I do not want to go to sleep.
I do not even fathom going to sleep until my eyes will not stay open anymore.
Until exhaustion has completely set in.
Then I go to my bed and just collapse.
I won't even wash my face.
Or brush my teeth.
Snuggle under the covers.
Burrow into my pillow.