Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Two years

About a month ago, I received an invitation in the mail.
A wedding invitation.
The wedding is three days before my two year wedding anniversary.

Last year I skipped a wedding that was four days after my anniversary.
I was invited to go alone and I had learned my lesson on that.
But this year I want to go.
I am bringing Mr. X.
And I am sure the actual wedding may be hard.
But I will not be alone.

Receiving the invitation brought back some memories.
This particular couple got engaged while I was on my honeymoon.
This invitation was sent about the same time as mine.
And I can imagine that two years earlier people were receiving mine during the same week.
And then I look at the last two years.
I was married one-third the time I have been a widow.
And yet my wedding was only two years ago.
Two. Years. Ago.
In two very short years, my life has completely changed.
And I ask myself, how the hell did I get here?
I thought it would have changed in a completely different fashion.
I thought I would be a different person than the person behind the screen now.
I thought I would be happily married.
I thought I would be starting on house remodeling plans.
At least the ones on the five-year plan.
But instead, I am unemployed.
I am a full time student to become a teacher.
I am dating someone who is not Roger at all.
And on this Monday night, I will sleep in my bed alone.
Two short years.
About 104 Mondays later...

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