Weddings should be a time of stress, excitement, and happiness.
But I feel like I am tainted.
I am excited.
I am happy.
I am stressed.
I am also scared.
Not of things at the wedding going wrong.
But of life going wrong.
For my birthday, I want a wife card.
But what if I am not a wife on my birthday.
Mr. X talked about having a wife for Christmas this year.
But what if...
Part of me is so beyond scared.
What if life falls apart again?
I do not know if I have the strength to go through this again.
As all widows know, we are still going through it the first time on a daily basis.
But to have double....
Please dear God.