And of course I survived.
I felt blah.
I slept until almost noon.
And I almost took a nap.
I did not shower.
I wore super comfy clothes and almost did not wear a bra.
My hair is pulled back.
I still felt myself sitting around with my eyes glazing over.
Thinking all damn day.
Thinking about this.
Thinking about that.
Getting lost inside my head.
Almost a damn year.
A whole year?
How the hell!
How. The. Hell.
So long ago.
Yet so yesterday.
The worst thing was realizing that I have almost been unmarried for a whole year.
Double the amount we were actually married.
A whole year of being a widow.
I met someone yesterday that has only been married ten months.
I could not help but think "Oh, you got married after I had become unmarried."
I had not really had that thought before.
This kept running through my head even more today.
There are people who have been married in the time I have been unmarried.
Yes, this should be obvious but it was strange.
Today, I tried to remember what Roger looked like naked.
And I cannot remember.
And of course I do not have pictures of this.
I know he was hairy but otherwise, I cannot recall him.
This is disturbing.
I remembered strange memories.
Like last August one of the local grocery chains was closing.
So we bought eight boxes of cereal.
And taco seasoning.
I also realized I was not crying every day for a few months until about a few days ago.
Now I am back to tearing up almost every day.
Sometimes it is when I remember things.
Sometimes when I think about this month.
And sometimes for a reason or two I cannot determine.
The good news is one day down, only thirty more to go.
Just thirty more to go.