Or at least it was a few minutes ago.
The stupid wedding anniversary.
My stupid wedding anniversary.
I hate the 23rd.
It is painful.
It drains me.
Even when I do not realize it.
I remember the days were I counted down to the 23rd.
I could not wait for it to be here.
I even had a countdown.
Now I dread it.
Each. And. Every. Month.
Today was fine.
Not a huge deal.
Until I realized I am/was cranky.
Until I realized I am/was weepy.
Until I realized I felt flustered.
And all I want.
All I really really want is to be held.
To feel the warmth of a man surrounding me.
Wrapped around me.
The feeling is so strong.
The urge is so consuming.
I just want to cry in someone's arms.
Nice strong warm arms.
I feel so alone today.
In a midst of friends, I feel alone.