A few weeks ago, my speech teacher approached me with a favor.
She asked if I would record my proposal story on video for her to use in future classes.
Like recorded on video and preserved forever. And ever.
Whoa, I barely got through that speech the first time.
But it has been two months since I did it.
And I am doing much better these days when February was really rough.
Really really rough. Thank God it was a short month.
And the cherry on top was my professor offered to let me get out of one of my class speeches so of course I said sure.
I figured I would find out a way somehow to get through the speech.
So today, it was done.
I dressed up.
I did my make up.
I blow dried hair (those people who know me know this is a huge deal).
I went to the production studio.
Re-read through my speech.
Touched it up a bit.
And I am happy to say I got through it.
With a smile at the end.
And I only had to do it once.
Maybe it was the camera watching.
Maybe it was because I am doing better.
Maybe it was because I can focus on the happiness of that day and our life rather than the sadness of him gone.
The crazy part was the production crew was stunned.
They were listening and were feeling the good feeling about how I proposed to Roger.
They thought they were listening to a girl telling a cute sappy story.
Then I came to the part where I say how he died.
They just sat there.
They even forget to fade to black.
The director guy came out of the back to talk to me.
He just kept saying "wow."
And my speech teacher being just great said "Yeah, and she is doing really well too."
Because I am doing well.
I am making it through each day.
Yes, I still have sad moments.
I still cry every day even if just a few drops.
But I am doing better.