And my habit of watching TV late at night until I fell sleep kept me from reading it during my usual reading time until recently.
I finished it today and of course I was afraid this would happen.
And it did.
I cried a lot.
So many things touched me.
I love the concept of heaven it presented.
Especially since I do not find comfort in the pearly gates and streets of gold version.
The book is "the five people you meet in heaven" by Mitch Albom.
I have seen this book in airports for years during my consulting days.
I never picked it up.
I judged it by its cover.
Something I am not supposed to do but I did anyway.
And then Shelly brought it to me in December.
I was a little scared to read it.
Would it be a sappy book?
Or a over the top Christianity book?
Or too sad?
Or too unrealistic?
But I started it anyway.
Of course, many parts spoke to me.
And of course I really enjoyed the book.
The premise is in the title so I will not go into it in detail but the main character's fourth person is his wife who died when she was young.
And during his life, the main character really never recovers.
He mourns for the rest of his life.
I do not see myself as the type that will mourn forever.
I know and everyone knows I will always remember Roger.
I will remember our three years together.
I will carry Roger with me everywhere I go.
Geez, now that sounds sappy.
She probably did it for her. She probably did not even realize that I would be reading this book one day when she did this.
But Shelly highlighted a quote in the book that I want to share.
A part of the book that I will try to keep with me.
"Lost love is still love... It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it. Life has to end. Love doesn't."
I also know that I will always love Roger. Always. Even when I get upset that he died on me.
He did not consciously leave me.
God knows, I could have kept him "alive" for longer if I chose.
But I knew letting him go was real love.
And our love will not end. Only Roger's life did.