Friday, August 6, 2010

Bad Widow

I threw something away.
It was ugly now.
My hate for it was growing.

But I feel like a bad widow for throwing this thing away.
Maybe even like I am a bad bride.

I threw away my bouquet this week.

The roommate moved out a month ago. (Thank God!!)
So Roger's stuff closet was available again.
As I moved my wedding planning book, my wedding albums, and some other things, I saw it again.
My bouquet.

I have never liked the way it dried.
The blue and white hydrangeas were beautiful at the wedding.
They were hideous after the wedding.
During drying process, the petals withered.
The colors looked awful.
The stems shrunk.
I hated it.

But after Roger died, I felt like I had to hold on to it.
Like it was required.
Part of some weird widow code.

So I broke the code.
I threw it in the trash.
Mr. X was shocked "Is that your bouquet?"
"Yep."

Sigh...

3 comments:

Jen said...

YOU do what you want. What feels good to YOU. Anytime YOU want. Anything YOU want.

:o) ;o) :o) :o)

Just my two cents!

Jen said...

Not a BAD widow....a HEALTHY widow!

Crash Course Widow said...

Good for you for doing what you needed, when you needed. I did the same thing with so many things--most notably the bike he died on. After 3 1/2 years, I wanted that damned thing GONE; I didn't care at that point anymore if Anna might want to see it someday. And I guess it's not totally gone-gone--Charley's dad has it at their house...but at least it's no longer in my garage, pissing me off every time I had to look at it...or trip over it.

And you're anything BUT a "bad" widow. You're doing what's healthy. And even if you weren't ready to get rid of it yet, that's okay too. Hugs, my friend!