Growing up my family moved a lot.
My mom and step-dad did not even own a place until I was a sophomore in high school.
In kindergarten alone, right after my biological parents separated, I went to three different schools before Christmas.
Between 1999 and 2003, when I was on my own, I moved twelve times even staying one location for 18 months.
So yeah, I am more accustomed to moving then to staying.
I can move an entire house and do it well in about a weekend.
Another skill I can add to my growing resume.
Yesterday however I realized something.
I have not scoured the grocery or liquor stores for boxes for almost four years.
I have not thought "Man, I do not want to have to change that after I leave."
I do not believe I have ever lived forty-eight months in the same location in my thirty years.
A new world record for me.
The house is different of course.
And wow has life changed.
But there is something comforting in staying in one place and having a real home.
In going to the same grocery store and driving on the same roads in the same direction.
Of course, with all these nice comforting feelings, I had to realize how if I have been in one place this long, it means Roger has not.
It means I have lived in this house for over three times longer than he did.
It means Mr. X has lived in this house about half the time Roger did.
And will surpass his time here before 2011 is put on the shelf.
It means that one day, Roger will only be a sliver in this house's history.
And all of that is kind of weird for me.
A lot weird for me.
1 comment:
I have been reading your blog on and off for the past two years. My father passed away in 09 and I found your blog. I read it to understand what my young mother was going through. She was 39 when he passed away.
Today was the first time I read your blog in a long time and I read about your father. I am in shock, you see my father committed suicide in 09. I read your blog to deal with my own grief and to help my mom. Now you are going through what I have been going through.
The way you described your father sounds just like mine. Happy go lucky, never having any issues and never threatening suicide. People in my family would threaten suicide all the time but not my dad. I am so sorry for your loss and pain. I know exactly what you are going through. Losing someone is awful but losing someone who wanted to die makes it even worse. His death was out of the blue, a complete shock. My heart breaks for you and then God reminds me that there is a reason I have been reading your blog for so long. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to email me at whitb11@hotmail.com.
With love,
Whitney
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