Roger's Email

I am not sure why I did this.
I am not sure why I did this now after the last week or so.
But I opened Roger's email today as I was on the computer in the office for a different matter.
Mostly for curiousity I clicked on it.

It amazes me how long junk email will continue long after you have died.
When I was a little girl, I decided to send away for catalogs and I called every 800 number I could come across.
I got so many free samples, coupons, and catalogs for everything.
But eventually the catalogs stop coming.
It usually took about a year.
If a person did not order in that amount of time, I suppose the companies felt the benefit was not worth the expense.
With junk email however, I guess the expense is so little that even two and a half years after Roger's death, he still gets all his TGI Fridays and Borders coupons and at least a thousand other emails every six months or so.

But what I should not have done was look in the "Out" box. 
I do love reading his old emails to me.
To hear his voice.
To see his usual "Its all good" response.
But it makes me sad.
It makes me teary eyed.

I found one email from August 3, 2008 sent to a person asking a question about Habitat for Humanity.
He referred to me as "my wife".
I so loved being his wife.
I hate being a widow.

Sigh...