I can not tell you how much I am happy that we got the wedding video. The thought of not having a video really scares me.
We almost did not.
We planned our entire wedding and our budget thinking our wonderful photographer, Scoobie, could capture every moment. And his team did an amazing job and I adore all my pictures.
However, pictures can not capture absolutely everything like Roger's voice, his strut, or his laugh.
And literally ten days before the wedding, I booked a videographer.
My good friend who lives in Africa was part of that decision. There was no way she was going to make it over for the wedding and she was begging me to get a video. Almost pleading.
I, in turn, begged Roger.
And since it looked like we were going to get our tax return early and the refund was better than we expected, he finally said yes.
I booked our videographer over the phone without seeing a sample and went only on a friend's recommendation.
Roger and I met the videographer at the rehearsal the night before the wedding.
He seemed nice. He was very inexpensive and we got a lot for a little.
I was excited.
Mario Inglesia was fantastic. We did not even realize how much he captured. He was not in the way during the wedding day and he got our video back to us quickly.
When I picked up the video from Mario, he said one thing to me that was odd. He included the raw footage and told me to watch it. He left some interviews from the reception out of the final video version because they were a bit explicit.
We sat down one evening and watched our final version of the video.
We were instantly very happy we did so.
For me, there were things I never saw since I was hiding before the ceremony. I did not see everyone who was at the ceremony and it was nice to see them on the video.
I told Roger about Mario's comment and we both knew instantly who had left the explicit messages-Ralph, Roger's cousin.
Ralph was the life of the party at our reception.
Ralph always speaks his mind and at times can be a little vulgar.
All in good fun of course.
We had no idea what he could have said exactly but we waited to watch the raw footage.
And we waited.
And we waited.
Until today, I finally watched the raw footage in honor of being the four month anniversary of Roger's death.
The very minute I heard Roger's voice, my heart lept without me doing anything. I instantly could remember him in new ways.
Tears started streaming down my face.
Man, I miss him so so so much. I miss hearing his voice on the phone or at home.
It was great to see Roger smiling before the ceremony while talking with his guys.
To see him in his tux with tails that he wanted so badly.
To see him enjoying his wedding cake ("Man, that's good cake. It aint got nothing on Publix.")
It was really nice to see everything again.
To see how much fun we had.
What a wonderful day it was.
I cried, I laughed. I cried and laughed at the same time.
As I watched, I remembered how it felt when he touched me.
I remembered how it felt to slip my hand into his.
I remembered how it felt to hold his hand while he was wearing his wedding band for the first time.
The words "to death to you part" and "all the days of your lives" kept echoing inside my head.
I would have never guessed "death" would part us so soon.
Who would have known how limited those "days" would be.
I wish Roger would have been miked the whole night. I wish I could hear all his words.
To remember absolutely everything we said to each other all night long. To have a permanent recording.
I can not imagine not having this video.
Thank you dear for agreeing to have this done since its all I have left of your voice, your laugh, your lips gently turning into a smile, your strutting around, our dancing, and your attempt at dancing the rest of the night.
And what did Ralph say in the interview with the videographer?
"Fuck, fuck a lot. I'm serious, it helps everything."
And when Ralph got with Lipps, "Fornicate, fornicate a lot."
Lovely guys, I promise.