I am such a mess.
I hate this feeling.
As I have mentioned before, I took my wedding band and engagement ring to be combined and put into a custom design.
I wanted to be able to wear them forever even if I got remarried. (Sorry, Mr. New Husband)
Today the wax mock up was ready for me to review.
I was very excited. I have been missing seeing my diamond and the feeling of wearing a ring. After two years of wearing something its a weird feeling not to have something.
My hands look so naked and I just miss my rings so much.
I miss what they represent.
Well, I arrive and this very annoying sales person who I refused to work with before approaches me. But not just approach, like she was invading my personal space and talking very loudly.
"Oh, you are back" in her very nasally annoying voice.
I run over to the work area and tell them my name.
First it takes forever for them to find my rings.
I think I stopped breathing for a few minutes.
Finally they find the rings with one of the jewelry making guys.
They bring the wax mold over to me.
And... I hate it.
They made it just like the picture and did not make the changes to it that I wanted.
It is bulky and looks gaudy.
I am sure people will think it is fake.
It is like nothing I would ever wear.
I want to cry.
I am not going to cry.
I am not going to cry here.
So I ask them if they can make the band skinnier and change part of the setting to circle and not square.
"We will have to do a new mock up which will take an additional week."
I lose it.
Right in front of half the store.
They freeze as I start sobbing.
"My husband just died and I really miss my rings and I just wanted to have this before Christmas."
Great... I'm really trying not to milk my circumstance.
I don't want people to think I'm just trying to ride this out for everything its worth.
I really am trying.
The jewelry guy makes a phone call, notes the changes, and tells me not to worry. I'll have it before Christmas. He wants me to be happy.
I guess it doesn't help that I'm sick and already emotional and was starting to get hungry.
I just want my ring. I want to see the diamond that Roger gave me.