Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Lifetime Friends

In the last almost two years, I have lost a lot of friends.
It is something a lot of widows will tell you about.
Some old friends. Some more recent friends.
Some that I knew for about eight years before.
Some that I met right before the accident.
Some that I met after the accident.
For one reason or another, we are no longer friends.
Sometimes there has been a "conversation".
Other times they just drift.

I was starting to get self conscious about it.
I was starting to wonder if I was the common denominator.
I was starting to think something was wrong with me.
I was starting to wonder if eventually I would be standing at a street corner completely alone.
I was starting to get depressed.

But after my "little" announcement a couple of days ago.
And in just small things over the last week, I remembered something.
I still have a load of friends who love me and care about me.
And who have loved me for a long time and short amounts of time.
And who are truly happy for me.

One friend, Stacy, I have known for almost ten years.
We met when his friend and I were briefly dating.
We have all remained friends.
I remember seeing him at the hospital.
I remember seeing him at my house after the funeral. He is one of the few people I remember unfortunately.
And in the last almost two years he has been here for me like an older brother.
He called me the other night to invite me over.
And in the conversation he told me how he was happy for me.

I had another friend who asked if he needed to "talk" to Mr. X.
A friend I inherited from Roger.
A friend I am glad I did not lose when Roger died.
But he is happy for me as well.

I should not expect every friend to stay around forever.
Obviously people die.
And I guess I am realizing now that sometimes friendships die too.
No fault of anyone I guess.
It is just life.

Now, it is not that I live in the same backyard as I grew up in.
So I should have known and realized this sort of thing happened in life.
I am almost thirty years old for Pete's sake.  I moved away from my hometown eleven years ago.
But I think there has been a definite weeding out of friends in the last two years.

I am happy with those that have stuck around.
For those that attached in the last two years as well.

1 comment:

Jen said...

Hi Star~

I keep forgetting to tell you how much I like your new blog design :o)

When I think about friends who somehow have weaved their way in and out of my life, these Van Halen lyrics always come to mind....

There’s a time and place for everything,
for everyone

We can push with all our might,
but nothin’s gonna come

Oh no, nothin’s gonna change

The pushing (in my opinion) comes from both sides, in each situation!

My favorite part though is the first true!

I hope you have a good day today :o)