Wednesday, June 3, 2009

My Twin

I have a twin.
Just like other sets of twins, we have our different personalities.
We have a different ways of doing the same tasks but for a lot of things we are the same.

I did not know I had a twin till about a month or so ago.  
Maybe longer.
And I have to say I am very grateful for having her.  
I am very grateful for her finding me.

She is a widow too.
She was married six months.
She lost her husband unexpectedly as well in October.
She is thirty.  
She lives in here.
And even more scary is her husband and she met online too.

I do not really remember the details of this but when I first had the world exploding event thrown into my lap, my dear friend Holly scoured the internet for anything she could do or say or find for me.  
And as always, she found some great blogs and some nice websites.
One was for a local widow group here where I live.
I signed up.
I wrote a profile (I am assuming I did this because I do not remember this part).

The group seemed older.
Even though it was called "young widows", they were a lot older than me.  
And with kids.
And they had been married for years.
And they had been widows for years.
And most of them were not unexpected deaths.
I did not feel a connection to them.
And they were a bit dormant in activity.

Hence I did not visit the website much.
Or go to any events.
But one day I got an email from this girl, my twin.  
Someone who did understand me.
Someone who was a lot like me.

A few weeks ago we met up for dinner.
It was such a relief to have someone to talk to.
Someone to share stories with.
Someone who had a lot of the same emotions.
Someone who could say "Yes, I completely understand" and actually mean it.
Someone I could let my guard down with a bit more.

Tonight I had dinner with her again.
And the same feelings.  Almost a sigh of relief to know I am not alone.
A kindred spirit.  
And I am thankful.  Very very thankful.
Because no matter how much my friends can empathize they do not get it.  
And I pray they never do.  
I pray so much they never do.  


Mars Girl said...

Oh!! You're so lucky!! I wish I had a twin!

I know what you mean about "young" widow groups. Most of the ones I lurked about in contained women between the ages of 40-59. I was the lone odd ball...

Jackie said...

I WANT a twin too!!....Actually, I must say I've been pretty lucky. I've found so many young widow's online who 'get it'. I just wish I had one to hang with.
SO happy for you and your twin!!!