I love the fact that after a plane crash, they can go back and look at the blackbox.
They can see all the information that happened right before the crash.
They can reconstruct the information to know why, who, what, when, and how.
Its so smart.
They are starting to equipe them in trains as well.
And now some cars even can sense when you have been in a crash.
I so wish the brain had a similar black box.
A way to go back to the moment of the accident.
A way to go back a few moments before the accident.
There are so so many questions I have.
And absolutely no way to answer them.
Did Roger see the SUV? Did he try to react? Did he brake? Did he see the cops riding behind and in front of us?
Did he say something to me? It seems like I vaguely remember something but I think I am making it up.
Did he hear me gasp? Did I say something else?
Did he feel pain? Did we have any interaction before I got out of the car? Did he ever regain any sort of consciousness in the car? Could he hear me yelling at him?
What shirt did he have on? I'm not sure why that one bothers me, but it does. I have no idea and can't remember. I do not have his clothing anymore to try to use a rule out method and not like I had his clothing memorized anyway. I know he looked cute. He was trying to look nice for my friends and family he was going to meet that day.
The hospital gave me back everything but his shirt even his undershirt. I don't know what happened to his actual shirt.
What were we talking about right before? I know it was me that was talking right as I saw the SUV but what we were discussing, I have no idea.
Then, what was the brain doing for those next six days?
Where was Roger's soul? Was it in a holding pattern?
Could he hear us?
Did he know I was there?
Did he know he was dying?
What was happening to his thoughts during his death?
So many many questions and absolutely no answers...
It is beyond frustrating.
Will the questions ever be replaced with peace?