I used to have this really annoying habit. Or at least my friend Sean was really annoyed with it and maybe some others but Sean was the most vocal.
I used to giggle to myself. A lot.
The annoying part was I usually would not tell people what I was giggling at because when I did it was never funny enough or funny at all to be laughed at. People would just stare at me like I was insane.
These giggles would come from my ever-racing thoughts that always filled my head (the thoughts still do).
Some people would beg me to tell them and sometimes I would but most of them time, probably 99 times out of 100, I would not tell people.
I just did not want to see their faces looking at me.
And most people would wonder how in the world I got to that particular thought to make me laugh. Especially if to them it seemed really far off from current topic.
Of course, these very funny thoughts made perfect sense to me.
I could trace the thought along the course of the conversation or whatever I was doing or what I was looking at.
When I first started dating Roger, he demanded to know what I was giggling at.
Of course, I refused like normal.
And like Roger, he persisted to know.
So we finally came to a compromise, I had to tell Roger every time I giggled what exactly I was giggling at. No matter how strange or how unfunny it was to him.
However, I had one "get out of jail free" card each day. I could use it at anytime I wanted.
If I did not use it however, I could not roll over to the next day.
Roger said this way he could get to know me better.
This was the beginning of his degree in Star-ology.
It became a fun little game.
Some mornings I used it right away and sometimes I saved it all day.
And Roger would always ask me, "Are you sure you want to use your free one now?"
Sometimes he would beg me not to use it. He would threaten to take away my "get out of jail free" card.
Sometimes I listened to him, but a lot of the time my stubbornness came into play.
Besides giggling, Roger also started making me tell him why I was smirking or smiling coyly.
And now, I rarely giggle to myself.
Sean should thank him for that.
I am not sure if I just stopped giggling out loud or I just started telling people my thoughts.
And it did help Roger understand me.
For better, for worse, he knew my whacked thoughts and sense of humor.