The other day I found this article about the virtual world.
And what happens to our virtual lives after we die.
Or really what does not happen to our virtual lives after we die.
Roger was always online.
But usually just on email and IM.
It was a nice part of our relationship actually.
I still cherish the emails and IMs.
Roger never had a facebook.
And he only had myspace after I finally convinced him to join.
He was excited about it for about a month.
Then he was bored with it.
He barely updated it.
I had to remind him to update his relationship status after we were engaged and then after we were married.
I was able to break into his main email account.
Which I plan to keep for a while.
And his myspace.
But not his AOL email.
And now a year after his death, I am not sure what to do about the myspace.
Sometimes I log into it.
Look at his wall.
See if anyone has sent him a message.
It has been over a year.
What do I do with it now?
Do I keep it up?
For how long?
A part of me thinks it might be creepy for others to still be his online friend.
I know I feel weird when I have to forward something from his email to mine.
But then it feels so final for me to take it down.
So much like the last step.
Like he is really really gone.
And then part of me feels like what if someone wants to know.
Some ex-girlfriend or high school classmate.
It gives me a way to explain to them.
A way without having to actually talk to them.
Or say the actual words.
But I know, if I am honest with myself, it is really the first reason.
It is the finality.
It is the closing of a part of him.
A part of his life.
He still exists on some level if he is on myspace.
His virtual life.
When does he die virtually?