So as I was reading a widow friend's blog today, I thought of an analogy.
A dark sense of humor analogy but it mostly fits.
Grief is a lot like herpes.
Herpes are painful lesions and when most people think of them, they think of the genital ones.
They are a virus.
Spread by sexual contact.
And widowhood is slightly sexually transmitted.
I mean, I was married.
And in marriage, I had sex.
And without marriage and sex, I would not have been a widow.
So widowhood is sort of transmitted by sexual contact.
And in widow-ness, there is of course grief.
So I have "herpes". A version called grief.
Herpes is very painful.
And after the initial breakout, a person has reoccurring attacks throughout their life.
Much like grief.
Grief is very painful.
And grief always comes back.
There is no cure for herpes.
There is no cure for grief.
Even if I move forward in my life.
Even if I fall in love again.
Even if I marry again.
Even if I never have something bad happen to me ever again.
Grief cannot be cured.
Herpes re-attacks occur when the person is stressed.
Grief can come back at any moment but especially when stressed.
People are also are afraid of people with herpes.
They are taken back.
Can they get herpes by hugging others?
People think widowhood and grief are also contagious.
People are not sure how to react to a widow.
Can they get widowhood by being around me?
Can they hug me?
Can they be around me?
What do they do if I cry?
But no, grief is not contagious.
And although there is no cure for grief, I appreciate the love of everyone.
I promise I will not give people the disease of widowhood.
Even if I cry.
Even if I am hugged.