Monday, March 9, 2009

Roger's Lesson

It is 4:45am, August 22, 2008.
I am putting the last things into my luggage for our trip up to Virginia.
Roger is in the shower.
I can glance up and I can see him from my side of the bed as I am putting things into the luggage.
That guy in the shower is my husband.
Wow, I am actually married.
How cool is that!

Even cooler is that I am happy.
I am a happily married person.
And I love my husband.
Again, how cool is that!
The next day, we will have been married six whole months.
I like this married thing.
I really, really like this.

I smile as I hear my husband exit the shower.
He says to me "I must love you.  I just shaved upwards and I am awake at 4:30 am in the morning."
I smile even more.

I leave the bedroom to get the cats ready for our trip.
I feed them loads of food.
I meticulously clean the litter box.

Roger takes the stuff out to the car.
He carefully loads it all in.
He pulls the car out of the driveway so I can get in a little easier.

Standing in the driveway, I realize it is not raining for the first time all week.
Yay for no more rain.
I realize I forgot our love letters in the bedroom.
"Crap!  Oh well, I guess we will just read them on Monday."


Recently I realized one of Roger's lessons for me.
It was right in front of my face for a while now.
But I had not seen it until the last few weeks.

Roger had a theory about soul-mates.  
He proposed they were only in someone's life a limited amount of time.
They accomplished their specific lesson or goal and then they left.
Perhaps they moved away or perhaps they just were not as close as they used to be.
But they were a person's soulmate.  Male. Female. Old. Young.  All options were open.

And if Roger's theory is true.
And Roger had a lesson or two or three for me.
I think I found at least one of them.
I think he taught me that I could have a good marriage.
That marriage was not the enemy.

He also taught me that someone can know me on a very intimate level.
And they can know all about me.
They can understand all my buttons.
They can know why I have all my buttons.
But they love me enough even still.
And they love me enough not to push them on purpose.

And for that lesson(s) and the many others, I am thankful.
I am thankful to know that marriage is not the worst thing ever.
And there are people who will not love me and hurt me.

Thank you dear. 
Thank you for loving me.
Thank you for being part of my life.
Thank you for marrying me.

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