As I have noted, I hate Mondays.
Well, now I have a new day to add to the list.
Its hard for me to forget that Thursday.
And every Thursday since I remember.
I always remember.
I can never not remember.
Today was my nothing day.
Which I did pretty good at.
I didn't make any of the three phone calls on my list.
I didn't empty the dishwasher.
I didn't wear make up (although that's not that unusual lately).
I did actually leave the house to run an errand but the guy I needed wasn't at work so I just had coffee with Courtney.
I'm not sure how good nothing-ness is for me though.
I have found myself much more teary eyed.
My body has seemed much heavier.
My heart hurts.
My body hurts.
But maybe I need this nothing-ness?
Maybe I need to deal with this pain?
Maybe I need to cry this all out?
Feel all the feelings that are here inside hiding?
Am I not dealing with this pain on regular days?
I don't think the economy is helping.
It seems as though the world is falling apart financially.
Small businesses and big chains are closing all over the place.
It makes me nervous.
It makes me sad.
The weather isn't helping either.
It rained so much this afternoon.
Not just the normal Florida storm.
No, this was the heavy heavy down pour that just doesn't stop.
I know in time Thursdays will become "normal" again.
But in the mean time, they hurt.
I hate them.