Saturday, December 26, 2009

Another Holiday Blow...

Since I decided to spend Christmas Day here in Orlando, I wanted to go to Miami today.
I had a plan.
I was excited to see my Miami family.

But first I did not sleep well last night.
Lots of odd dreams.
So my plan was delayed.
I slept in about two hours.

Last week, when my car was in for service, they told me I needed new tires.
And a brake flush.
And some other weird thing done.
But nothing was very urgent.

Instead of paying the high dealership price, I decided to go to another popular auto service place near the mall.
I called them first.
I asked if they had my tires.
For $400 cheaper.
I planned to go this morning.
Before my trip to Miami.

So after I woke up from crappy sleep, I made my way to the mall.
I walked in ready to hand over my keys for a couple of hours.
I planned on seeing a movie.
Relaxing before the four hour drive.

Then the stupid day went south.
They do not carry my tires.
They cannot order my tires.
They cannot do the weird thing I need done without buying the parts from the dealership.
And they do not think I should drive to Miami on those tires.

So I came back home.
Unpacked my car.
Unpacked my bag.
And cried.

It is just not fair.
And I so do not do well when plans like this change.
So now I am alone.
Day after Christmas and I am alone.

1 comment:

Crash Course Widow said...

I'm so sorry, Star, that the day turned unexpectedly shitty for you. You're right--we like to think, as widows, that a day (a good, tough, or otherwise one) will be manageable so long as it goes as we've oh-so-carefully planned. And then when those plans fall apart, we find that we crumble with them. I've felt and experienced that so many times. I'm not sure if it makes me a cynic, a realist, or simply adaptable, but anymore I try not to put too much store in "plans." I got burned so many times, even if they weren't anything major, that--as awful as it sounds--I try to have as low of expectations and as few "plans" as possible. I'm not saying it's a particularly exciting or thrilling way to's simply what has ended up being my M.O., so I can live in the moment and be happy for what it.

But I'm so, so sorry, Star. I know you've been having an especially tough time this holiday season and I saw your FB status that the hardest one for you is still ahead of you. As much as it hurts right now, it'll be over soon. Hang in there, and cry as much as you need to. Lots of love, my friend.