Old Tradition On Hold, New One Begins

For many years, I have sent Christmas cards.

Probably since I moved out of my mom's house.

I loved it.

I felt like an adult.

I tried to include a personal note in each one.

It took me hours.

And I sent tons.

Usually about fifty.

Sometimes a hundred.

Roger and I started sending them together right after we were engaged.

Or rather, I started sending them for us to both our friends and family.

Roger probably did not really care that I did them or did not.

I even sent some last year.

A postcard style.

I adore postcards so it made since.

It was also as a thank you to those who had supported me.

But this year... I just cannot do it.

I cannot bear the thought of doing Christmas cards alone.

The thought actually makes me queasy.

We never did our married Christmas card.

Never a card as Mr. and Mrs.

Never a card with our favorite wedding photo and a "Happy Holidays from both of us."

So for now, Christmas cards are on hold.

I hope all my friends, family, and everyone else who receives a card normally from me understands.

I do still enjoy receiving them.

This year I did start a new tradition however.

One that a friend sort of started for me last year.

I doubt she even realizes it.

She bought me two Christmas ornaments.

Superman's outfit on a small hanger along with wonder woman's.

It represented the year for me.

Roger was a super hero to me and to others.

And I had survived-a wonder woman if I do not say so myself.

So this year, I decided, I wanted a new ornament to represent 2009 to me.

Something that encompassed everything.

My feelings and everything that had happened.

I found the perfect one.

An angel holding a small silver heart above her head.

At the bottom of her dress, the cursive word "Hope".

Hope is my word of the year.

It keeps driving me forward.

Hope for the future.

Hope for pure happiness to come again.

So for now, Christmas card tradition is hold for me.

But I think I like this new one.