Sunday, December 27, 2009

"Bringing Up Memories"

I hate this statement.
Hate. HATE. HATE!!!
It makes me think that my "memories" are not always in my mind.
That my thoughts of Roger are far away.
That widows/widowers ever can push their dead spouse "down" somewhere.
Unfortunately/fortunately some part of Roger is in my mind every day and almost every minute.
I cannot escape thoughts of Roger, our friendship, our dating history, our wedding, our marriage, the accident, and/or his death.
Nor do I want to.
I want to remember everything forever.

Someone was recently talking to me about New Years Eve.
I mentioned how I am not looking forward to it.
How I do not do well with that holiday.
And especially this one.
When they responded with the comment, "I am sorry to bring up memories."
Followed by complete silence on their part.

No, time does not heal this.
Not at all.
If I can "preach" anything to anyone, it is this:
In time, I am learning to cope.
In time, I am learning to live.
In time, I am learning to have hope.
In time, I am learning to keep moving forward.
But time does not make me heal.
The wounds are still very real.

So when I talk about Roger or our life or anything.
It is not bringing anything "up".
It is just me letting a person inside my head.
Inside my thoughts.
And the best feeling is when others think of him and bring him up.
Absolutely the best.

Rant over...

3 comments:

letterstoelias said...

I whole-heartedly agree.

Well said.

~C~

(and I am SO not looking forward to new years either . . .)

Juliana said...

People have no idea how difficult the hoidays are when you lose your loved ones. I had no idea how hard it would be. I hate that peope tell you to move on and say other stupid things...they just do not understand.

I am new to your blog! Come on over to my blog and follow back if you would like. It is very nice to "meet" you.

Funny Girl said...

“Life gives us brief moments with another...but sometimes in those brief moments we get memories that last a life time...”

I wish you a HAPPY HEALTHY NEW YEAR filled with good fortune, prosperity, and continued success... and a new year to fill your memory bank with new joys, new hopes, and new beginnings. :o)