Afterwards, I wandered the halls and tried to bump into other former cohorts.
I found a few.
It is always nice to see old familiar faces.
Nice to have some old hugs from people who knew me from before.
The one physician, Dr. B, I used to work with is a really nice guy.
I did not appreciate him before.
We are generations apart.
And honestly, he annoyed me.
But, unfortunately/fortunately we have something in common.
Five years ago, his son died in a small plane crash.
He was twenty-nine.
He had only been married ten months.
He was full of life.
At Roger's funeral, I greeted each attendee with a hug.
And my tears just overflowed.
Dr. B quietly handed me his blue handkerchief.
I could tell he was deeply sad for me.
He understood slightly.
I could tell he did not want me to feel this pain.
To share this kind of grief.
A few months later, when I received the autopsy report, it was late in the evening.
I needed someone, specifically a doctor.
Dr. B helped me.
He helped me decode all the medical terminology.
What it really meant.
What it meant in real life.
Today, as I traversed the halls, I wanted to say hello to him.
It is always nice to talk to someone who gets it.
Even if it is slightly different point of view than mine, we understand each other in some ways.
He said a few things today that resonated with me.
After Roger and I were married, I felt different.
Like I had a completely dedicated team member.
But Dr. B phrased it even better than me.
He simply said, "When you are married, your joy is doubled and your troubles are halved."
That is exactly it.
And boy how my troubles are not halved...
Then he talked about how for a young widow it is hard to start to move forward.
But he mentioned how widows have an opportunity to love again.
A different love. A new love.
But parents do not.
They do not get a second chance to have another son or daughter.
And neither do siblings.
It is different for them.
And he warned me about how it will go when Mr. X meets Roger's family.
How it will be hard for all.
How it may never be comfortable for everyone.
But, he always talked about how he desires such happiness for his daughter-in-law (and he still refers to her as that).
He has met some of her boyfriends and even her (ex) fiance.
He still talks to her and she is still part of his family.
Even five years later.
That gave me joy and hope.
Dr. B was happy for me.
He was truly happy for me.
And interestingly enough, a man I did not like very much when I first met him understands me.
And my troubles.