Saturday, May 30, 2009

The Jeep

This entry has been rolling around in my head for months. 
Pun somewhat intended.   
And for some reason, I have not been able to get it out of my head and into words.  
At least not adequate words.  

Back years before me, Roger bought a Jeep Wrangler when he got a bonus at work back in 2001. 
He loved that Jeep.  It was one of his dream cars.
It was a lovely shade of dark blue with a soft top.  
He loved the way girls flirted with him while he was driving around.
"the girls... were totally checking me out" he says in the journal I found after he died.
He enjoyed making out with dates up against that Jeep too.  
"It was cool leaning up against the Jeep and having her in front of me...mmmm"

Before Roger and I started officially dating, I remember being impressed by the Jeep.
It was a sexy car.
I had previously dated a guy who had a Jeep.
I knew the appeal.

On our first weekend away together, Roger was going to be attending a kickboxing class.  
I went along to enjoy the time away.  
During the day he would be at class and I would relax hanging around Cape Coral.
As we were driving to the hotel, Roger tells me that he will be leaving me his precious Jeep during the day.
"What?! I do not want to drive your car.  I have never driven your car.  I do not know how to drive the Jeep."
"It will be fine.  I trust you."
It was crazy to be trusted with his Jeep.
The thing he loved.

After Roger and I got engaged, we picked out my ring together.
Since I had proposed to him, he did not have a ring for me already.  
This was always the way he wanted to do things anyway although I wanted to be surprised.
So he got his way.
Lovely compromise.

About a week after I was wearing the ring, Roger shocked me.
He told me something drastic.
He wanted to sell his Jeep.
The Jeep he loved so much.
His dream car.

I was touched.
I was in shock.
I could not believe he would do that for me.
The Jeep of all things.
I cried.

I did not want to be that girl.
The girl who insisted on the guy changing his core person for her.
I did not want it to seem that was why he sold the Jeep.
But he said he wanted to sell it.  
It was not necessary anymore.  
He had his dream girl.


J-in-Wales said...

A wise person once said to me: "There is your family and the people you love. All the rest is just stuff."
It looks as though Roger understood that too.

Supa Dupa Fresh said...

That's really beautiful. A sign of how love for you matured him... NOT of how he changed himself for you.



Rick said...

He TRULY loved you!!!
Beautiful story