Part of me is really upset that I was only married for six months. A really big part actually.
I almost felt like a failure at first when Roger died since when looking at my family there is a ton of divorce and multiple marriages. I almost grouped myself with them.
It is the most frustrating thing since I sincerely believe we were very prepared, we were a good match, and we had realistic expectations. We did things the right way.
We were in it for the long haul. We were not going to be in a bad marriage and if it turned sour at any point we would seek help. Divorce was not an option for us.
Then I have many family members and friends who did not get prepared, were not good matches, or had very unrealistic expectations. And that frustrates me more.
They still have their husbands or wives. Or if they don't stay married, they jumped out of marriages at the first sign of trouble instead of working through their problems.
That frustrates me even a little more.
Marriage means nothing to them. They treat their other halves horribly. They nag them and talk bad about them behind their backs.
It always makes me want to cry. Even before Roger died.
I have always tried to treat Roger the way I wanted to be treated. I tried to think how every decision I would make would affect him.
I once heard this saying and I really took to heart, "It is easy to be with in love with anyone when things are going good, but you know you are with the right person when you want to be with someone when things are hard with them."
Many people may or will say "You only had six months married. You do not know how hard marriage really is." We were together three years in the end. However, Roger and I did go through some tough stuff before we married. Just one example, we had to learn to deal with money and such when we were juggling two houses, two mortgages, and everything else dealing with selling a house in a plummeting market.
And wedding planning was not a picnic either but I am glad to go through those things with Roger.
Yes we fought. But we also learned how to resolve conflict efficiently.
But I have to look at some positive perceptive.
Of all those people who fail at their marriages, I made it.
I kept my vows. Even for a short time.
"Till death do you part" and I did it.
Maybe it was only six months.
But I did do it.