Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Happiness

I am happy.
Like very happy.
On cloud nine happy.
It is a strange feeling for me.
So foreign.
Like an old friend I have not seen in a while.
Familiar yet new again.

It feels good.
It feels surreal.
It feels sort of scary.
I do not feel guilty about this feeling.
Just afraid a bit to let myself truly enjoy it.
But I am trying.
I am trying to embrace it with everything I am.

Today as I left class, I found myself smiling from ear to ear.
Singing along to the radio.
Driving in my car.
Excited about the day.
And then I realized how happy I was.
"Whoa I am happy."
How long it has been since I felt this way.

And the oddest thing happened.
Although it should not be odd to me.
But I started to cry.
I started to cry about being happy.
I guess these are happy tears.
Not tears of sadness.
But it was still strange yet funny and weird.
I am crying over being happy.

It is slightly hard for me to believe how happy I am at the moment.
I keep questioning rather it is real or not.
Although people say they hear it in my voice.
They see it on my face.
I can feel it inside.
Bubbling up.

I guess I should be happy that I am happy.
Yes, I will be happy that I am happy.
Because guess what, I am happy.

5 comments:

Deanna said...

I am so glad to hear that!

The Pickards in NYC said...

And...you know what, we are all happy, that you're happy. ;)

J

Katie said...

Reading this post makes me happy!

Crash Course Widow said...

I'm so thrilled that you're happy. It's fantastic. =)

But I get the happy-tears thing. I start to cry at all sorts of things now that aren't explicitly sad--I think I must just have a deep well of feeling to tap into, even during happy things--and I NEVER used to before. I still haven't gotten used to it, and I'm not quite to a place yet where I can say that I like that I'm apparently a fairly teary person anymore...but I'm aware of both kinds of tears, and I treasure that I'm able to have them at all.

Hugs to you! Now go off and be happy with your bad, happy self! =)

Supa Dupa Fresh said...

I am smiling from ear to ear for you!

LOVE

Supa