When we were engaged, I had a countdown to the wedding.
At work, I had countdowns to vacations.
With my friends, I had countdowns to my birthday.
And honestly, there is probably always one going on in my head.
They just do not stop.
Most of the time, I enjoy these countdowns.
Just like the kid who is counting down to Christmas morning.
I love them.
Except for this time.
Except for the ones coming up so soon.
First up is Roger's birthday.
I started thinking of this today.
Yes, I have my fabulous trip planned.
But I am still very conscious of what day it is and how far away it is.
I am sure tomorrow it will be even more apparent as it will be a month away.
And then the countdown to the accident.
And then the countdown to the one year mark.
I wish I could stop these countdowns in my head.
At least I do not have my usual white board countdown on my fridge like I do for the "fun" days.
And it is not like I am not busy.
I am extremely busy.
But the thoughts just do not go away.
My mind still goes there.
With or without me.
So this is it.
The month countdown begins.
The clock is ticking loud and clear.