Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Ring, Again

Over a month ago, I took my ring to be cleaned.
I am 99% sure my ring was fine when I handed it over.
When the jewelry store woman returned it to me, she made the comment, "Nice design. I love the smiley face."
"Thanks. What smiley face? I've never noticed a smiley face."
To my horror, one of my wedding band diamonds encircling my engagement diamond was missing.
I was shocked.
I know it was there five minutes before.
Jewelry store woman said it was like that when I gave it to her.
But thanks to a warranty on the ring and the diamonds, it would be replaced.
Yeah, replaced with a non-wedding band diamond.
Replaced with a diamond that has no sentimental value.
I tried explaining this to the jewelry store woman.
I do not think she really cared.
But yes, I wanted it replaced.
And it was.
But I lost one of the wedding band diamonds.
It was not just the monetary value I lost, it was more.
I was upset to say the least.

Now, I am scared to wear it.
Great... just great.

Another weird thing is when I do wear it, people have been noticing it.
And commenting.
Mostly just "nice ring" or "pretty ring" is what I hear.
And I mostly just say "Thanks" and keep moving especially with people I am never likely to see again like a cashier but also lately I have also been divulging information about the ring to classmates.
I guess I am kind of proud of it (?).
Of what it represents.
Of how I had a huge part in what it looks like.
But I before I just jump into "Oh, this is my engagement ring and wedding ring combined. See, my husband died and I wanted to keep wearing the ring but just not 'the' ring" I sort of pause but sort of not.
I try to judge if the person can handle hearing this story but only as I start to tell it.
The story almost falls automatically out of my mouth and then I hear the words coming out of my mouth and feel guilty and I want to stop.
But I cannot.
I stumble over each next word.
"Crap, now what will this person think?"
"Great, where will this go next?"

I should just say "Thanks" and keep moving.
I really should stop freaking people out.
What is this newish need to divulge again?


hunibuni said...

I understand it. I can't even look at mine. I took it off after the funeral because it makes me cry. Everytime I see it on my hand I breakdown.I wear his on my thumb.

Funny Girl said...

Hey hun, maybe i'm naive (or just plain engagement ringless...haha) but I noticed that people notice jewelry on me more once i get it cleaned...because it blings :o) proud of the proud of what it represents. :o)

You only creep people out that weren't meant to be in your life. Those that understand and want to hear you out will stay around (those are the ones you want to keep near and dear to your heart anyways) :o)

Honestly, when you first told me...which was the FIRST time we met, it made you more intriguing :o) I definitely wanted to get to know you more!!! :o)