Saturday, November 28, 2009

Mi Familia

The very first time I ever met Roger's mom, she called me her other daughter.
And every time she has introduced me after that, she said the same.
In her cute accent and a smile, "This is my other daughter."
Roger's entire family has always accepted me as one of their own.
As their cousin.
Their niece.
Their sister.
Their daughter.

When I learned I was losing Roger, one of my next biggest fear was losing them.
Losing this new found family that was close and fun.
People who loved each other.
People who celebrated each other.
People who were by each others side.
Even mine as Roger lay in his hospital bed those last six days.

The tears fell at the thought of how they were going to hate me.
Blame me.
How I would never see them again.
I did not want to lose them too.

And fifteen months after losing him, thankfully I still have mi familia.
About the only thing I can be grateful for right now during really hard grief this month.
They still care about me.
They still love me.
I am still their cousin, niece, sister, and daughter.

Thursday was the first Thanksgiving I have celebrated in Miami.
Like I mentioned, Roger and I normally celebrated in Orlando.
And in the prayer said before dinner, Roger's godmother said something that almost made me lose my already shaky composure.
She said she was thankful for me.
Thankful that I was still here.

The thing is I am not going anywhere.
This is mi familia.
These are my people.
One of Roger's final gifts to me.
A gift that keeps giving.
I love these people so much.
I am so thankful they are still here.
That I am still invited.
That I am still loved.

My biggest prayer is that as my life moves forward, mi familia will also love who I love.
I pray my children will have their Cuban primos, tios, tias, and of course an abuela.

So to my big Cuban family, please still be here.
Please stay here.
Please celebrate with me.
Please mourn with me.
Please continue to love me.
Without you (along with others), I would not still be here.


Mars Girl said...

You are so lucky. My in-laws seemed like they would be that way. Unfortunately, they stabbed me in the back upon Mike's death and his mother DID blame me for Mike's death. Which is sad. Cuz the only reason she blames me is because I was the only one there. But it feeds into my own insecurity that I could have done something to save my husband. I hope some day I have great in-laws like yours...

Supa Dupa Fresh said...

You are beautiful and I am so glad you are loved so well.

I'm jealous too, but glad they'll be there. Holidays really, really suck.



Jen said...

Ah, this is a beautiful post. I too was blessed with a new family when my husband and I married, and they are still here, supportive and wonderful, even though he's gone. I hear too often about situations like Mars Girl's above, and it hurts my heart. Why can't we all just get along, especially when one of us is gone?