Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Ugh, Melt Down #705

I know there will be a point very soon where I will not be able to walk into any establishment without the employees running and hiding.
"Oh no, it's that widow. Run! Hide! Here she comes! She will cry or throw a fit. Give her whatever she wants and no one gets hurt."

And I thought I was having a good day.
I thought I was having a good week for that matter even though it is only Tuesday.
But that was only temporary.
I guess it could not last.

As I have mentioned, a lot of people have thought I did nothing during the day before Monday. I just had someone comment to me on that fact yesterday even.
Yeah, I just sat around watching TV and eating candy all day before Monday. Maybe a cry here or there but I was doing nothing, right?
I wish.
My days were filled with phone calls to insurance companies, filling out forms, making copies of marriage licenses, meeting with lawyers, getting quotes for painters, figuring out which things to pay and which go to the estate, finding health insurance, making sure my renters are okay, making sure my house is not falling apart, filling out some more forms, and figuring out what to do with stuff.
Well now that I have school to focus on, I also have to fit in these other fun activities.
Today was getting a signature guarantee on a form because I was Roger's beneficiary in my maiden name and not in my married name. Roger and I just had not got that far yet in turning everything over. (Changing your name is such a tedious process.) This is the third trip to get these signature guarantees for the same IRA accounts. So hence, I'm already irritated that I am still working on these accounts when I thought I was finished with them last month. I was also irritated that it was raining. Yes, just because it was raining and that meant I had to be walking around and driving in rain (The accident happened when it was raining).

I walk into the bank with my forms in my hand.
The bank manager, Linda, I normally work with is not there.
No big deal.
I walk up to the counter.
"You can have a seat, I'm busy working on something."
Hmm, okay. No biggie. Normally I just stand and wait at the counter while Linda finishes whatever she is working on but okay, I will take a seat.
"Okay, you can come forward."
Okay. I was literally sitting there for two seconds. I could not have just stood and waited?
I am still composed. I did have to go to class after this so my time is limited but okay.
"How can I help you?"
I explain how I need a signature guarantee for this form because my married name was not listed as the beneficiary so I need to use this form to make sure I am the same person as before and I need them to stamp it.
"Hmm, we do not do that. We only do that for checks."
"Yes you do. Linda has done this for me before." Irritation is starting.
"Let me check with someone else. Linda is on lunch."
He wonders off to the office just over. And that lady is just chatting with her friend (I overheard part of their conversation and she was introducing him as her friend to other people in the bank so I am sure she could care less either way since she is busy with her friend.)
Harry returns. Yes I remember his name because I will never use him again. He is off the Christmas list for sure.
"Sorry, we can't do that."
Breakdown starts.
I do not think I was yelling but I do think I may have raised my voice a little and tears were starting to form thus my voice was starting to crack.
"I have a lot of money here (not true but I meant to say 'I have a lot of accounts here'). I lost my husband and I am going through a very difficult time. I just need your help and Linda has done it before."
"Linda will be back in forty-five minutes if you want to come back."
"I have another appointment now and I do not have time to come back."
Tears formed. Grabbed my papers and stormed out of the bank. I yanked the door so hard that it bounced against its hinge.
Geez... what is happening to me.

I called my widow friend to vent because I know she will understand.
We chatted for a little while.
I calmed down.
I went to class.
I kind of forgot about the bank incident.

As I was leaving, I noticed I had a missed call from a number I did not recognize and a voicemail.
I listen to the voicemail.
It was Linda.
"Hi, this is Linda from Wachovia. I heard you were here (Yes, I'm sure she did hear about some irrational woman who stormed out of the bank) and I wanted to see if I could help you."
I love Linda. She has been absolutely wonderful with everything. And I make regular appearances at the bank for one reason or the other. Most of the time for several reasons at once and she is always so sweet and helpful.
I called her back.
I told her what I needed and she said she would have it ready tomorrow at 3:30pm.
Like I said, I love Linda. She is fabulous.

I just hate this part of grieving.
It is one of the ugliest parts.
Hopefully there will be a massive turn over at the bank before tomorrow afternoon leaving only Linda and I will not have to be embarrassed at my actions...


Joanne said...

Thank goodness for Linda! It was wonderful that she called you back. So sweet of her.

And...I'm pretty sure everyone will be fired by the bank by tomorrow at 3:30 except for Linda. :P

Crash Course Widow said...

Yes, thank goodness for Linda! Evil people like Chris (or whatever Off the Christmas List person's name was) can go to hell.

I can't even remember the loooooooooooong laundry list of places where I had spectacular meltdowns. The vet, the CPA, my new financial planner, the clerk at the front desk when I tried to get the autopsy report but found out I was at the wrong address, the manager at a hoity-toity salon when I asked to complain about the worst massage I've ever had, at chuch, at the airport, at the...good lord, the list seems endless. It probably wasn't, in fact, all that long, all things considered...but emotionally it sure feels like it. Those meltdowns in front of strangers were humiliating because I could NOT hold my shit together, despite that I could in front of friends, my boss, family, etc.

So I'm doubly glad that Linda seems to be set for sainthood. It'll get better eventually, Star...hang in there....


Oh--hey...random thought...if you don't mind, can you shoot me an email using my email addy on my blog? I want to email you something but I don't have an address for you. How have I managed not to give you mine (before I posted the new CCW Gmail one, that is) in all this time of exchanging comments with you?? Oops!