Usually in response to something I do not "normally" do.
Or someone I would not "normally" hang out with.
Like "In my real life, I would not run a 5K but..."
And I was having lunch with a friend today where I found myself saying it again.
For me, it almost feels like this "situation" is not my real life.
It can't be, right?
I mean, in my real life I am married.
In my real life, I would never run a 5K.
In my real life, I would not date a 22 year old boy.
But I have to keep reminding myself, this is my real life.
This is what I have now.
It reminds me of being dealt a whole new set of cards like in poker.
I have played out my old set of cards. This is a new round.
Those old cards no longer exist.
So I must play these new set of cards versus thinking my old set will come back.
But it is so hard.
This feels still so much like a dream.
Like I am going to wake up to my "real life."
I am in a pretend world for now but real life is waiting.
Like I am enjoying this for now but Roger is somewhere else.
Unfortunately, this is real life.
This is the real deal.
The mistakes I make now are real.
The good things that happen are real.
This is it, Star.
This is real.
This is your life.