Signing My Name

When I first started this blog, I never dreamed I would be talking about grief with the title.

I was just in shock I was married.  

I was in shock that my name was so different.

It felt like an end of an era.

And it was of course.

It was a new chapter.

Albeit a very short chapter but... 

I remember when I first got my driver's license.

It was the first time a stranger had mispronounced my new name.  

The guy passing out the freshly printed driver's licenses was the first one to butcher my new Cuban last name.

I smiled.

I had a great new picture so I rushed home to show Roger.

"Look dear, my new license."

Roger had a weird look on his face.

"What's wrong?"

"You signed your new last name wrong."

"No I didn't!"

"Yes, you did.  You only put the first three letters."

"Hmm, well, yeah but that is what I did before too."

"But that's not right."

"Hmm, you don't sign the whole thing either.  You just do a squiggly line."

"It is still all there.  You just can't read it.  You completely left off the rest of it."

"Yes dear.  Whatever you say, dear."

I did modify my name a bit.  

I added a slight squiggle.  

Not much.

Just enough to quiet my husband.

It will be strange when I marry again.

At some point way in the future.

I am not sure what I will do with my name.

Will I change it again?

Will I have to learn to sign a new name?

Will it be as emotional as last time?  

I am betting it will actually.

I kind of have an idea of what I will do but we shall see... 

A name is just a name anyway, right?

Right.  

I will always be Roger's wife.