Sunday, June 7, 2009

Another wedding?

I have thought about this a lot.
I know it is prematurely.
I know it is not going to happen anytime soon.
But maybe because I had just got out of wedding planning mode, I have thought about it ever since the beginning of my "situation".  

At first I thought, I would never do the wedding thing again.
But then I thought about how close the wedding brought us.  
How much we learned about each other through the process.
And how much I loved our wedding day.

I was talking about this last week with my twin.  
Again, because she understands.
We were talking about how weird it will be.
What colors would I use?  Like I mentioned, I used my favorite colors.
What location?  I picked my favorite location in Orlando. 
Maybe a new city?
Would I use the same vendors?  
Would they be offended if I didn't?
Would my groom be offended if I did?
This groom better have some good ideas that is for sure.

Some people say I should just do a destination wedding.
Maybe something small.
But I want loads of people there I think.
I almost think I want to go even bigger this time.
To spend even more money.

I am not sure about a lot but I do want to create the memories again.  
I want the white dress again. 
I want the video again.
I want the photos again.  
I want to form new memories.

Then I think about how it will be emotionally.
How will it be planning?
How will it be to walk down that aisle?
How will it be dancing the first dance?

Then there is the issue of the marriage license.
In Florida, at the bottom of the license, it says what number the marriage is for each person.
For Roger, it was one.  For me, it was one.
But now, it will be my second.
I do not want to say "2".  
I want it to say "1" with an asterisk.  
With this note: 
"*marriage ended in death, not to any fault of either party."
Or at least just the note.  

Again, not anytime soon.
I have to date someone for more than a few weeks first.  


Nicolle said...

I didn't think about it before, but you are right, Bryan and I learned soo much about each other and got much closer during the wedding planning process. We really did make a great team. Definitely something to consider if/when I ever get to that point in my life again.

Mel said...

I like the asterisk.

A widower recently told me that he was just happy that anyone dated him, because "we are all damaged goods."

I say he is completely wrong. We are not damaged. (That's a terrible phrase anyways.)

Impacted by our losses, sure. Still cry and feel overwhelmed sometimes, sure. But we experienced great relationships, and that is a gift.

We will take this knowledge of love into whatever life brings us, including new relationships.

So yeah for the asterisk!