Price of Marriage

We spent pretty much the average amount for the wedding.

And I loved our wedding.

Roger loved our wedding.

It was everything I wanted.

It was my dream.

I used my favorite color.

I used my favorite flower.

I used the best vendors.

It was what I wanted.

But some days, I get angry about it.

I planned most of it myself.

Yes, Roger helped a lot more than most but still the majority of the work was put on me.  

We did the planning ourselves.  

We paid for it ourselves.  

It took up a lot of time to plan that one day.

It was a lot of work to plan that one day.

I had to make a lot of decisions.

I had to make a lot of DIY projects.  

I had to send a lot of emails.  

I had to keep track of a lot of details. 

We kept everything in perspective while we were planning.

We tried to keep everything in balance.

A balance between cheap and over the top.

We wanted a nice wedding without breaking the bank.  

We told each other over and over again, "It's one day but its the only 'one' day we will have."

I was never going to have to do it all again.

And all that for what?

To be married six months?

To go from planning for sixteen months for a wedding to planning a funeral in an hour a little over six months later?

Do not get me wrong.

Do not take this the wrong way at all.

I loved being married.

I loved being married to Roger.  

And I loved the day we were married.  

It was worth every thing we put into it.  

It was worth all the stress and all the headaches.

And every penny.

Yet here I am.  

Alone.

Single.

Fifteen and half months later. 

With nothing but memories, a video tape, and some photos.