Today is our 3 year anniversary of our first date.
I feel like between the 22nd and today there are just so many anniversaries.
Some really good and some really bad.
My doctor told me there would be these but it just sucks.
I wonder of course what Roger would be giving me today.
And of course what he had planned for Wednesday on my birthday.
Roger gave me the best gifts.
He was so thoughtful and so many times he completely surprised me.
When I first moved to Florida, I was poor.
Very very poor.
I was 18 years old when I first moved and just was not prepared.
Not prepared at all in any way!!
I had $1000 to move to a completely new state and did not have a job when I moved.
I had moved with my boyfriend at the time and although we were trying to find jobs, we just didn't have enough money saved.
Stupid stupid girl.
I was pawning things.
I was selling CDs.
I was searching for change in the seats.
I was not eating dinner.
I was poor.
So I asked my mom to send me a $50 savings bond that I had won when I was in 4th grade for perfect attendance.
She sent it down and I took it took the bank.
It wasn't even fully matured.
And because I was overdrawn on my account I received even less.
Still, I did what I had to do.
I had to have gas to get around and I needed to eat.
Once and only once, I had randomly told Roger this story.
And just in general conversation. I don't even remember how it came up.
But I guess it must have stuck with him.
For Christmas 2006, Roger was eating lunch with his co-workers and told them he needed to buy me a card for Christmas.
His co-workers tried to tell him that we had been dating for way too long to just get me a card for Christmas.
But Roger had a plan.
I found the card that year in my stocking.
We were sitting on the floor in the formal living room.
Roger warned me I was going to cry when I opened that Christmas card.
"No way. It's a card. I'm not going to cry"
"Yes dear, we'll see."
I open the card.
I start to cry.
Inside the card was a receipt for a $50 savings bond.
Roger wrote in the card about how he would always take care of me and I would never need to turn in that savings bond.
How I never needed to worry and I could depend on him.
I cry some more.
I don't even remember when I told Roger the original story.
I know I didn't even make a big deal about it.
But Roger's gift touched me.
To finally have someone I could completely depend on.
Someone who would always take care of me.
I've been taking care of myself for a long time.
Longer than I ever wanted to be.
It was so nice to have someone take care of me.
I miss that. I miss that a lot.