It is just unbelievable how much I miss him. It's been 3 weeks since the accident.
Three weeks since we held hands.
Three weeks since I felt his hand grab my leg in the car.
Three weeks since we kissed.
Three weeks since we have talked.
Three weeks since I've been able to grab him and hug him.
It just hurts so badly not to be able to do these things.
My heart just aches.
There is this huge void.
There is nothing I can do.
Nothing to bring him back.
Nothing to go back in time.
Tonight eating dinner with friends I thought about how much Roger would just have loved to be there. How much he would have enjoyed the stories and just being with everyone. How he would have loved to get some ice cream.
How much he would have just adored that his cousin Freddie was up to visit.
And for the last three years when I had days like this, who would I run to... Roger.
And now although my friends are fabulous, there is no one to hold me close and tell me it will all be okay.
How can this be?
How the hell can this be?