Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Lawyers Schmayers

So I spoke to the second lawyer today. Basically they both have said the same thing. They don't think I'm going to get any more money that what the Progressive is offering me now. I'm not the type that is sue happy. Now I could go after him and try to get his house and anything else he maybe have but why? In Florida, its hard to get money from people anyway unless you are stinky rich. And think of how long that will take! I don't feel like ripping this guy out of his house and home. I will be fine financially but I am worried about the medical bills. I'm just praying Roger's health insurance picks up the difference.

I did get a nice letter from the state about how they are investigating the "traffic homicide" case. I'm sure he got a nice letter from them too. It will take 60 - 90 days to complete the investigation.

The other driver is also the guy that will have to live with the guilt that he killed a healthy young man with many talents and hobbies ("handsome, charming, suave and debonair" per Roger) leaving behind a young wife. He will have to wake up each morning knowing how he did this to me. How he did this to a mother. A sister. Cousins. And many many friends (despite Roger's insisting he wasn't social). I know he must be feeling extremely guilty. Who wouldn't.

Today I made the semi-mistake of turning on the radio. Eventually driving without the radio on, just gets boring. So flipping through radio stations like normal times and there it is. The song we both just loved - Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. When I heard the song today though, it made me pretty close to hysterical. In the song, it describes our relationship pretty perfectly. We both were the type of people that didn't say "I love you" all the time. I have always felt it starts to loose its meaning if said too much. And Roger felt the same way. When it would come on the radio, I would try harmonizing with it and we both just knew it was us. We almost used it as our wedding song but just could not figure out how to dance to it. My favorite new lines are "All that I am, All that I ever was, Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see, I don't know where, Confused about how as well, Just know that these things will never change for us at all"
It completely describes how I am feeling right now. I feel a part of me is missing. And it was in him. But I also know things will always be the same for us. I'll always treasure him and never forget him or hate him. Although I am pissed that I'm having to do the trash and the recycling.

Here are the lyrics:
We'll do it all
Everything On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
I said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
to remind me
to find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Funny story time. Yesterday I was complaining about not feeling Roger's spirit with me like I had in the past with my grandmothers who had passed. Well, as I was getting out of my car to come in from the garage, my bra just snapped open. This is a front closure bra and the bra was not broken, just opened. Pervert!

Another funny story. I always used to give Roger a hard time that he was older than me and he'd always be older than me. Now guess who is laughing... I guess for at least the next six years he will be older than me. But after that, damn it.

Last note, Roger, where ever you may be, you are still not allowed to look at how much I weigh when I'm on the scale.

8 comments:

Teri said...

Ha! I am cracking up at your "pervert" comment. What a great sense of humor Roger has...naughty boy. Maybe we'll be in for some entertainment tomorrow night...lol

dkaufmanuf said...

You are so right Star- he took the life of an innocent person and he'll have to live with that for the rest of his life. If I was in his place, I don't think I'd be able to live with myself....

Joanne said...

Haha...Roger is still fresh!!

He'll always be with you, Star.

:)

LisaCJacks said...

Star your blog is so interesting to read. I love the style of your writing. I laughed, I cried, I smiled. Roger sounds like such a wonderful, funny, and thoughtful man. He's watching over you all the time. :)

Vanessa :) said...

lol Star!
Roger, you perv. :) But you can't blame the man. :)

and I'm sure he'll respect your privacy- NO PEEKING AT THE SCALE Roger :)

take care sweetie!
xoxo

Joey and Suzanne said...

Dealing with insurance companies sucks. Hang in there. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Robyn said...

star, i love reading your blog so much. i laugh, i cry, it's really moving and sweet. :)

Candise said...

Oh Star this blog was just great, well they all have been great, but this one I could picture you standing in front of me talking to me about all of this. I just really felt you with this one. I felt angry, b/c of the insurance crap, umm not sure what to think about the man that took Roger away from you and everyone else, and the Chasing Car song, you know has many times as I have been on your page I have never fully listened to that song, and I have always wondered why you have never changed it, the name of the song made me picture some dogs running after cars, lol, sorry but true, maybe thats a blonde thing, but now I can see why you had that song on there and I know understand its true meaning. Wow that is an incredible song. And I can now see you smiling and being the silly self that Im used to hanging out with, Roger being a perve, now that was just tooooo funny! And for you to be worried about him looking at the scales, girl you are truly something else!!

But Roger will ALWAYS be with you, and no matter when you do become older then him, when the time comes and you two are reunited you both will be young and beautiful! And the bond that you two shared will still be there!

I love ya girl! Keep that beautiful smile on that strong head of yours!!