Tuesday, September 9, 2008

"unmarried female age 27"

Wow... That's a ton of bricks to swallow. That is what is now listed on my auto insurance. Two weeks and half weeks ago I was thinking how great being married was. People would ask "how is married life?" and I'd go on and on talking about how with Roger I was finally feeling secure. I had stability in my life. How for the first time in my life I had someone I could count on 110% of the time. It was like being part of the greatest team ever.

Roger was a great husband. He always kissed me hello when he got home from work (I made him do a 3 kiss per day quota ;P). We would walk to the mailbox together and he would jokingly hand me all the bills and he'd save all the cool stuff. Since he worked from home a couple days a week, he'd go to the grocery store for me. Or if I was feeling particularly annoyed at going he'd meet me there. Just so we could do it together. I loved driving in the car with him. We would just chit chat or have some serious discussion about this or that. The day of the accident we were just chit chatting. The music was really low and we were just joking with each other like always.

Recently he was getting excited cause we were getting magazines for Halloween decor. Roger loved Halloween. He was even more excited to see a Halloween store opening soon on 436. He was talking about being the Greatest American Hero and I was going to be Wonder Woman.

I went to his office today and saw his cube for the first time. And guess what? More Buffy stuff. His obsession is worse than I thought :D

I talked with his coworkers for a little while and they told me some more funny stories. They also told me how he helped out the receptionist with boxes and such if he was looking for a new router. Everyone just loved how he was a genuinely nice guy. They also laughed about Roger being a "reverend" and how they wish they would have known. They would have razzed him about it.

Several people have talked about how I made Roger happy. And showed him true love. I guess some people never find true love. People keep saying "some live their whole lives and never know true love" and several upon several people have said this to me. However, although I'm super happy to have provided that to Roger, what about me? If true love is rare and I had it with Roger, what are my chances of finding it again? I don't think these people realize what they are saying. But its kinda disturbing. I'm 27 (unmarried female age 27 to be exact) and I don't want to think that was my one opportunity. There is already the high divorce rate. Or even the people who stay together for whatever reason but are not "happily married."

That the thing that pisses me off the most about the whole situation. Roger and I were happy. We were extremely happy. We had big plans and small plans and just tons of things to do together. And then I see tons of couples out there that aren't like us. Why us?!?

With all the contraptions, wires, and other weird techy things in Roger's office, where did he put the time machine...


Joanne said...

Hi, Star.

I'm sure Roger left that time machine for you somewhere. Maybe you'll have to read through all the "wowsers" and hot babes in his journal...maybe he left you a secret code? :)

I do think it's amazing that Roger left you so many things to make you smile...all the funny stories, his journal entries, his movies.

Remember that Roger still loves you. He's not gone because he'll always be in your heart.

I know that he'll always be looking out for you and maybe he will put that special person in your path one day.

I think you're such a beautiful friend and I'm so thankful for you. I can't say that enough.

I was talking to a couple of the girls about dinner next week at my place. What do you think? We can work on the logistics because I know you probably won't want to drive. I was thinking of making lasagna with ground turkey. What do you think?

Maybe next Friday night?

Love you!


Holly said...

Hello, me again :D Just wanted to say that I think your auto insurance needs a revision. You're "female, age 27, great friend, hater of meat on bones, owner of the most comfortable bed, creator of the most detailed laundry sorting system ever..." and it goes on, that's just the beginning. You're definitely a wonder woman!

GreenRanger said...

I agree with Holly. Your insurance company needs the whole picture. female, age 27, great friend, pickiest eater (second only to Holly), recycle freak...the list goes on and on.

Thanks for starting to write again. Its good to hear how you are doing. Can't wait to see you!

Anonymous said...

Star- I just discovered your blog and now I'll be reading every day! I hope you can find a little peace in the fact that you made him SO happy- its obvious to anyone who would just look at him looking at you. I know I haven't been around lately but that is going to change- I'm not letting my job run my life anymore.

Sean and I want to cook you dinner (well who am I kidding, it will be Sean who is cooking!), so let me know when you are up for it. We can come to you or bring you to us, whatever you'd like.

Vanessa :) said...

Hello Estrellita!
I just discovered your blog, and I'm hooked on reading about you.

I'm glad that you're taking this time out to write your feelings out, and your daily adventures. You're so brave.

I agree with Holly and Judy- your description should be MUCH more accurate. Somewhere in there they should include that you are the proud owner of aliens. Yes, Aliens. :D If they only knew how smart you have to be to work those things I'm sure they'd lower your insurance rate.

Can't wait to see you tomorrow!
Cuidate Estrellita!

-Love ya!

MrsM. said...

You are an amazing woman. Your strength is incredible.
I am happy that you are keeping all your thoughts in a blog. I know that there are many people who will read it everyday.

I hope you find comfort knowing that the last thing Roger remembers is "chit chatting" with a wife that he loved more than anything.

We'll see you tomorrow for "cheesy movie night"!

Candise said...

I agree with everything these comments have said! You are an incredible woman through and through. I have turned to you for relationship advice and you have never turned me down, you have always been there to help me out. No matter how crazy my situation is or how hard headed I am!! I guess thats a family trait! But I you know how for the longest time I have always admired you for the life you have made for yourself, but now I even admire you more! I know I have said it time and time again, but I just can't imagine what all you are going through right now, and for you to do this blog entries is just awesome. You never fail to amaze me of what a strong woman (wonder woman) you are! I love ya!

Teri said...

Hi Star!

I just found your blog and now I'll be reading everyday.

I agree that the insurance company needs a new description of you. I really, really enjoy reading the stories of the little jokes you and Roger shared and all the things you liked to do together. It makes me smile, and I thank you for sharing your love story with us.

Can't wait to hang out tomorrow night!