So I started this blog to talk about my life as a married woman. Now that I'm suddenly sitting here debating which finger to put my wedding ring on, I'm a widow. Twenty-seven years old and a widow.
Most of you know the details but if not just look at my google page.
I miss my husband terribly. He was such a great man and husband. Some of you didn't even think I'd get married but Roger made it possible. He was an amazing person who took care of himself and took care of me.
Well I will try to post more on this blog so those of you who know me and what to check in on me can.
First, today was very interesting. Slightly horrifying, slighly amusing. I call to see if the death certificates are ready. It seems like everyone and their mother need to see it. The funeral home assistant says she has them. So since I need to practice to drive again I figure I'll go over and get them then head to Target for some toiletries.
I arrive at the place all in one piece. I review the death certificate which is just hard to see it there on paper. The assistant then informs me she has Roger ready for me to pick up.
Okay... Not mentally prepared for this but okay.
But there's a problem - he doesn't fit in the urn I picked out.
Okay... So she asks what I want to do with them.
Ummm, I dunno.
What do people normally do in this circumstance?
Doesn't normally happen... More great.
She says she can give me the plastic bag with the extras? And the director will be back shortly and he can try to shove Roger in.
Hmm... no to the plastic bag and no to the shoving him in.
She says that I can try picking out a box for him.
So I go to the urn picking out room.
Funeral director finally shows up and has a solution. He will place the urn in a nice velvet bag and put the plastic bag next to it inside the velvet bag.
Okay. This is acceptable.
Now... how am I suppose to transport Roger home? And please please please dear God do not let him spill in the car. Good ol' seat belt then. I strapped him in and lowered the seat belt to the lowest possible setting. I pulled it as tight as I could. Off to Target I go.
At Target, I start to think about what if someone breaks into my car with the nice velvet bag sitting on the seat. I double check the locks. Roger is secure. But hey, what about storage condition? And I kinda feel bad leaving him in the hot car. I quickly get my errands at Target and then drive home.
I placed Roger in his meditation area. At least until I can figure out where I want to put him. And yes curiosity got the better of me. I looked at the plastic bag. Interesting stuff.
Now tonight, I'm still not sleepy. And so I watch Scoobie's slide show. Gosh, it was probably too soon. I miss him so so so much. I love seeing us together. We were so happy. Holly reminds me how we were each other's "dear" and how I miss hearing that.
Dear, I miss you. I so wish you could come home now. I want to talk to you. I want to be silly with you. My favorite part of us is the silliness. I love you. I love you more than cereal.