Saturday, February 28, 2009


...make my heart jump.
As well as cops flying by me.

My heart starts to race when I see them.
I feel myself gripping the steering wheel.
Sometimes I get cold chills.
The worst is how people do not pull over.
How drivers just stay in the way.

I wonder where the ambulances are going.
Who are they helping?
Will those people survive?  
Is it due to another stupid driver?

I also wonder about the morning we were driven to the hospital.
I hope people got our of our way.
I hope people got out of the way for the ambulance carrying Roger more.
I remember how bumpy the ride was.  I expected it to me smoother.  I have never been in the back of an ambulance before.
I remember trying to figure out where we were on the highway.  It is a highway I know pretty well.  

I remember the girl helping me.
She was rubbing my forehead trying to calm me down.
She put me on oxygen because I was hyperventilating.
She warned me I had been in a really bad accident.  
Which was really hard for me even still at that point to believe.  
Car accidents happen all the time.
It could not be that bad.
Not to Roger and me.  
This only happens in movies.
Really bad dramatic movies.  

I wish people would be a little more aware when they saw an ambulance or the police.  
It could be me in there.


Sean said...

What is also annoying is when you pull over and the people behind the ambulance don't let you back in!

Anonymous said...

I feel the same - drives me batty. I took my Mom to the hospital one too many times I guess & I just don't understand why people don't move. It isn't all about them... I was in one once as a patient. Very disorienting.

I've been reading you for a bit now. My anniversary was Feb 26th, and everything you say makes me so very aware of what can happen in the blink of an eye. I sincerely hope that March is better for you. I'm not sure how, but I still wish it.

Amy said...

I feel the same way. My father died in an ambulance with my mother in shock telling the EMT's to fix him. It will be six years on Monday and even though I have never been in an ambulance my heart still flutters and sinks for whoever is in there.

Mr Blue Sky said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jon said...

90% of the time at work I'm driving either a fire engine or ambulance. It never fails that every time we go on a call people do not get out of the way. It's not that they can't hear me, I'm right behind them blasting the air horn and siren, it's that they just don't care. The WORST is when they feel the need to switch lanes right in front of me to get around the people that were nice enough to stop.

About the comfort level in the ambulance.... it's a lot smoother when you're riding non-emergency. A trauma-red patient (such as yourself) needs to get to the hospital faster so the ride is bumpier. So the people with toe pain get the nice slow smooth ride while trauma or medical-reds get the bumpy one.